funny

i found this quote somewhere on a persons profile, i dont know who said it, but it sounds like something dane cook would say...anyway, its funny...

I understand that scissors can beat paper, and I get how rock can beat scissors, but there's no fucking way paper can beat rock. Paper is supposed to magically "wrap around" rock, rendering it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why-- BECAUSE PAPER CAN'T BEAT ANYBODY! When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper, I punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "Oh shit, I'm sorry. I thought paper would protect you, asshole."

probably the most constructive drunk

i finally fixed it so i can have a title. yesss. i have decided that i am probably the most constructive drunk person. when i drink, i looooove to clean. i dont really ever think i have been drunk drunk. where i cant control myself or anything. ive been tipsy and buzzed every once in awhile, but never stupid annoying girl drunk. and im proud of that, but i still wonder what it feels like. im guessing not good. anyway, i had a presidente margarita at chilis tonight with kelly, and then came home and had a glass of sangria, and kelly left and so i finished her glass. and a few more glasses and the cleaning and singing starts. i made a rent cd tonight and im blaring it. im kind of glad mon isnt here because she hates it when i sing 'light my candle'. which is everytime i light a candle in our apt. but as of now, ive done all the dishes and pans in the sink, washed the counters, my laundry is being dryed and washed as we speak! i think its only after im left alone after drinking that i feel the need, the need to clean! its weird, but i think its a great thing. maybe i should have many drinks every night and then i would be the cleanest person ever. but with an alcohol problem. so...all in all, i love drinking and then cleaning. maybe even doing some school work! i have to do my last case analysis. maybe i will do that, or sing some more rent songs!!! i seriously love these songs. the end. maybe.